


So Much Like You It’s Scary

by JustAnAnxiousKid



Series: “The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids” [4]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Con is an angry pal, Eva is an anxious gal, F/F, Little Connor has a bad relationship with his body image, M/M, and they’re teenagers now!, because his family loves him, but there’s a lot of soft bonding moments, it’s touched upon briefly at one point but it’s not anything huge, the Hansen’s have a dog!, the Murphy-Beck’s have a cat, the angst is provided by little Connor, the kids are back, together they talk out some stuff and figure out feelings, which you know means some teenage angst because teenage years suck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 09:13:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15637677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnAnxiousKid/pseuds/JustAnAnxiousKid
Summary: Connor Matthew Murphy-Beck had the perfect childhood. He grew up in a loving house, had a loving family. He got along with his sister, his parents, his uncles, his grandparents and even his cousin.Which is why when he suddenly began closing himself off, everyone knew something was wrong.Lucky for him, his mom Zoe realized what was going on almost immediately. Her son was exactly like her older brother.Even luckier for her, he was only a phone call away to help out.





	So Much Like You It’s Scary

**Author's Note:**

> I really like writing this AU and have no idea where it’s going but expect more content for it

    Slamming his head down in frustration against his bedroom desk, Connor Matthew Murphy-Beck let out a groan. For simplicity purposes, he went by Con since his Momma had thought it would be a great idea to name him after his uncle. Not that he didn’t like sharing a name with Uncle Connor, it just got to be annoying at family events. That wasn’t his source of frustration though, oh no. That would be his twin sister.

  
    “Con! Open the door or I’m telling Mami!” his sister yelled, banging against the door. He rolled his eyes, covering his ears.

  
    “Then tell her, Taylor! I don’t care!” he shouted back in annoyance.

  
    It wasn’t that he hated his sister. In fact, quite the opposite. He loved her more than she could ever imagine. She was his missing half, after all. Recently however, he had wanted nothing more than to just be left alone. Everything and everyone had been setting him off recently, and he wasn’t even sure why. Sometimes, he just wished it would all stop.

  
    When he heard Taylor screaming to not one, but both of their moms, he flopped onto his bed and covered his ears with his pillows. It wasn’t that he wanted to be angry with anyone at the moment, but for some reason whenever he heard a voice he could only feel his grip on his actions loosening. If he had to be completely honest, it was terrifying.

  
    He was becoming terrified of himself, and it was really screwing with him mentally.

  
    After a few minutes, when he heard Taylor slamming her bedroom door shut, he turned over on his bed. Looking up at his ceiling, he began counting the glow stars. Smiling, he thought back to the day they were put up. It had been after they moved to their new house, and it had been a house warming gift of sorts from his uncles. They had gotten the same for Taylor, saying they all had the same when they were small.

  
_“Con, Tay! Uncles Evan, Connor and Jared are here!” his mothers called from downstairs. The two siblings looked at each other, smiling from ear to ear._

 _  
_ _“Race you downstairs?” he challenged._

 _  
_ _“Last one there has to do the cat litter!” Taylor responded, racing down the hall. He grinned, rolling his eyes and chasing after her._

 _  
_ _“You know I’ll end up doing it either way!”_

 _  
_ He chuckled at the bittersweet memory. He had ended up doing the cat litter that night regardless.

 _  
_ “Jesus, look at you two! When did you get so tall?” Jared asked, hugging them both.

 _  
_ _“Do you really want us to answer that question?” he had shot back, playful grin on his face._

 _  
_ _“No, no I do not.”_

 _  
_     Puberty had of course been the answer. It seemed it was for everything recently.

  
_“Alright, close your eyes” Evan said gently, a small smile gracing his features._

 _  
_ _“Where’s Uncle Connor?” Taylor asked, looking around._

 _  
_ _“You’ll see in a second. But for now you have to keep your eyes shut, okay?”_

 _  
_ _Both shut their eyes and covered their faces, allowing their uncle to guide them through the house. Once they stopped, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Pulling his hands away, he gaped at the sight. Turning, he saw Jared motion for him to go to his own room. He broke out into a huge grin, racing down the hallway. Opening his door, he was met with Connor placing the last star on the ceiling with a satisfied grin._

 _  
_ _“This is the coolest!” he exclaimed, looking up in awe. “Thank you so much!”_

 _  
_     He pressed the palm of his hands against his eyes, trying to control his breathing again. When he felt a sob forming his his throat, he grabbed a pillow and covered his face. That was one of his last happy memories. From there on, things had seemed to get less fun very quickly. He used to sit down and watch baseball games with his grandfather, but he no longer found it entertaining. He didn’t ask to learn any new dance moves anymore, didn’t want to go the park, and really didn’t want to play video games with Uncle Jared. Last time either of his moms had suggested a family dinner outing, he had locked himself in his room all night and practically thrown a tantrum.

    Now, he sat in his room, crying into his pillow as quietly as he possibly could. He didn’t understand why he was feeling like this all of a sudden. It wasn’t like he lived a bad life. His family loved him, he loved his family, he had never been a victim of any kind of abuse. Pushing the pillow to his face harder, he came to one conclusion.

  
    He was the problem.

  
    It wasn’t as though the thought had never crossed his mind before, but this time he was the most sure of it. Why else would everyone else be okay while he was crashing? Because he was the one in the wrong. It all made sense now.

  
    He wasn’t sure how long he had cried. Maybe it had only been five minutes, maybe half an hour. To Con, it felt like years. When he was done, he put down his damp pillow and looked into the mirror. Cold eyes and blotchy skin was all that looked back at him, and it made him feel sick. Stepping back to see more of his reflection, he only felt worse. He was too fat. He pulled up his shirt a bit, cringing at the imagine. There were small stretch marks littering his stomach. He hated it.

  
    Taking a deep breath, he threw on an oversized shirt and made his way to the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, he splashed some cold water onto his face. He took a towel, dabbing the water off gently. Looking into the mirror, his skin seemed to have cooled down significantly. Sighing, he went to make his way back into his room.

  
    “Con, sweetie, wait.”

  
    He looked up, coming face to face with his Momma. Rolling his eyes, he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

  
    “What’s wrong?” she prompted, giving a concerned look.

  
    “Nothin’” he mumbled, looking at his bedroom door longingly.

  
    “Connor...”

  
    “Can I go to my room now? I literally did nothing wrong,” he stated, giving her a hard look. She stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds, eventually nodding slowly.

  
    “Go ahead, bud” she said. “Love you.”

  
    After slamming his door shut, he ran a hand through his hair.

  
    “Love you, too.”

 

 

    Zoe watched as her son shut his bedroom door, concern written all over her features. Every passing day, she was growing more and more concerned with the young boy, and she didn’t know how to express it. Taking a deep breath, she went outside to sit on the porch. Pulling out her phone, she went to her speed dial contacts and pulled up her most frequent caller.

  
    “Hello?” the voice on the other side of the line answered.

  
    “Hey, Connor. You think you could come over tomorrow morning? It’s kind of important.”

 

 

    Con woke up to not only his alarm, but a cat swatting at his chin playfully. He groaned, shutting the buzzer off and gently nudging the old fur ball away.

  
    “ _Nooooo,_ stop that, Hunter! Go downstairs,” he groaned. Hunter only meowed, swatting at him more. “I don’t have your food! It’s downstairs!” he stated, frowning. When the cat only meowed louder, he rolled his eyes, picking him up and beginning his trek down the staircase.

  
    Yawning, he grabbed his clean food bowl, placing the cat onto the counter. He scrunched his nose up when he pulled back the lid of the cat food, wanting to gag at the smell of the stuff. Sighing, he put it into the food bowl, snapping at Hunter to follow him as he placed it down next to the water bowl. Once the cat had jumped down and began eating breakfast, he made his way to the living room.

  
    “Mornin’, kid.”

    His head snapped up quickly, all traces of tiredness gone from his being. He came eye to eye with his Momma, Uncle Connor and his cousin Eva.

  
    “You’ve gotta be shitting me right now. Why are they here?” he questioned, staring daggers at his mother.

  
    “Con, bud-” she began carefully.

  
    “No, Mom. _Why are they here?_ You never invite them over this early, especially without telling anyone, so you’re up to something” he stated, cutting her off. When she came up with no response, he scoffed. “I’m going back upstairs,” he stated, turning around without looking back.

  
    When he got to his room, he took a deep breath. He knew his reaction had been irrational, but everything he said had been true. No one came to the house without some kind of notice for the Murphy-Beck’s, so he had every right to be upset. Right?

  
    When he heard a gentle knock on his door, he opened his mouth to yell, but when it opened he was met by his very nervous looking cousin. He shut his mouth, crossing his arms. She waved to him awkwardly, he didn’t wave back.

  
    “Hey— um, is it cool if I come in? O- Or I could— I could um, just, leave? If you wanted” she stuttered out, voice soft in his quiet room. He shrugged, scooting over on his bed so she could sit. She muttered out a small thank you, sitting next to him awkwardly.

  
    He had of course grown up with Eva for the past eleven years. She was now seventeen, him sixteen, but they were in the same grade. Just under a year apart in age. Now, most people with a cousin their age would be pretty close to them. Hell, even Eva and Taylor were fairly close. Yet for whatever reason, they always had difficulties trying to talk to each other. Neither could have a full conversation without getting awkward, so at some point they just stopped trying and accepted that they wouldn’t be the best of friends.

    Now, as they sat in his bed awkwardly, he could see how that was a bad idea.

  
    “Soooooo...” he began, trying to think of something to say. “How’s uh— home? Is Honey doing well?” he asked, trying not to cringe at his own ridiculous attempt at conversing.

  
    “Oh! She’s fine. She um, she actually just got groomed? So her fur is really clean and fluffy now” Eva responded, smiling slightly. He nodded, thinking about the small dog. Honey was exactly what her name suggested; very sweet.

  
    “Cool,” he lamely responded. Then, just like before, they were back to awkward silence.

  
    He looked around his room, trying to distract his racing mind. Clearly, it hadn’t been a good idea, because the more he looked around the more disappointed in himself he felt. Dirty clothes were littered around the room, books from his shelves scattered about. He had some empty candy wrappers near his trash bin as well. The ones that he tried to throw in but missed horribly, then being too frustrated to pick them up.

  
    “Hey, um... can I ask you something?”

  
    He turned to look at Eva. She was looking right back at him, anxiety written all over her face. She practically had the word written on her forehead.

  
    “Shoot” he replied, shrugging.

  
    “Okay, so, um, maybe this is weird? To you, at least. But it’s not to me? So, um... are you okay? For real?” she asked, fidgeting with her hands. “And it’s okay to say no, you know? You don’t have to be okay. Literally, look at our family. We’re all giant messes” she said, laughing a bit at the end. Maybe a year ago he would’ve laughed along. Now? He was far from happy.

  
    “What, did Momma set you up to this?” he asked, anger boiling up in him.

  
    “What? No! Of course not!” she tried.

  
    “No, but she obviously did!” he yelled. “That’s why you an Uncle Connor are here, right? To tell me how much of a fuck up I am! Well, too bad, I already know” he spat, venom dripping from his voice.

  
    “Wh— Connor! That’s literally not at all the case!” she squeaked out. “Just— Jesus, okay, _listen._ No one is telling you that you’re screwed up, okay? We’re just all worried because you haven’t been yourself lately,” she explained. “And we want to help you. _Everyone._ All of us want to help you because you’re obviously hurting-”

  
    “I am _not_ hurting!” he shot back.

  
    “Yes you _are!_ ” Eva yelled.

    In the eleven years since his cousin had been adopted by his uncles, the girl had grown out of her shy shell. Her walls had gradually broken down and he was used to hearing her be loud when he saw her. All in all, she was a social butterfly with a bubbly personality (at least with family. At school she was definitely much more shy).

  
    But not once in any of those eleven years had he ever heard her yell angrily.

  
    There was a fire in her eyes. One he had never seen there before. It made him shrink in his spot, looking down at his feet as he felt a headache coming on. He heard her sigh, the bed shifting next to him. He didn’t look up.

  
    “Connor,” she tried to begin, her voice soft again. He shook his head, refusing to meet her eyes.

  
    “No, I deserved it” he said, his voice much quieter than he intended. He hated how small it made him feel.

  
    “You didn’t” she responded, and she sounded so sure. “I shouldn’t have yelled, you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”

  
    “‘s fine,” he mumbled, shrugging.

    He felt careful arms wrap around him, pulling him into a hug. If he had said he pulled away, he would be lying. He had instantly leaned into the touch, feeling comfort within it.

  
    “It’s not fine, and you’re not fine, but it’s okay. You’re gonna get help, Connor. I promise. Literally no one in this family will stop until we’re sure your better, okay?” Eva gently explained. He nodded, finally returning her hug. She rubbed his back comfortingly. “If you want I can help you tell your moms about it” she suggested. He nodded again, sighing quietly.

  
    “In a bit. Hugs first. You know you’re a really good hugger?” he asked, and she laughed. He smiled.

  
    Down the hall, his mothers and uncle all stood together, Connor grinning triumphantly.

  
    “I told you Eva was good at talking to people. She lives with me and Evan, she was bound to learn at some point.”

  
    “Alright, fine, you were right” Zoe said, sighing. “Thanks, asshat.”

  
    “Love you too, Zo.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to explore the characters relationships with their families, and then I was like, “they’re family too!”, so I explored the relationships with the cousins!
> 
> So my guys, gals and non-binary pals, here’s some Con and Eva bonding!
> 
> Also, peep me at my instagram @just.an.anxious.kid ! Now, my private account and two of my friends accounts are following it,,, please be respectful and don’t request to follow our accounts. They’re on private because we share stuff on there that we don’t want across the entire internet (such as stuff about the town we live in). Respect out privacy as you would want people to respect yours. Thank you.
> 
> Of course, that’s not to say “don’t talk to me!!!!” I obviously wouldn’t have made an extra account if I didn’t want to talk to you guys. Just leave a comment being like “hey I’m from AO3” or DM me or whatever. I’d love to talk! 
> 
> Enjoy the story!! And feel free to say what you want to see in this AU, I love hearing all your ideas :)
> 
> Sincerely, a very happy girl who got to meet the cast of DEH (minus Taylor and Jennifer) over the weekend and is still not over the expierence.
> 
> Fun fact; just as I went to post this my cat jumped onto my iPad asdfghjkl Bella n o


End file.
